"No" is a complete sentence. We must all learn to say “No” sometimes. But things get complicated when we have to start saying no to our friends. It's almost the holiday season and we all know that this comes with many festive obligations, but you can find yourself utterly exhausted if you don't prioritise yourself during this time too.
We know it's hard to say no to your friends, especially when they only mean well or they just want you around because, duh, you're basically attached at the hip... But sometimes our friends don't realise or notice when we just need some alone time. Take it upon yourself to let them know before they push you past your limits.
Here's how to get your point across gently. 👇
Don't wait until you're fed up 🤦🏽♀️ If you wait too long to say anything, you are more likely to hurt your friend's feelings.
Start with a soft no. Mention that you have plans lined up for the day or the evening.
If your friend insists and can't accept those plans, just say 'NO' it's just not a good time for you and then make plans for a time that will suit you better.
If your friend won't accept this, recognise it as her or his problem, not yours.
Once you've said no and you've taken time for yourself to recharge, reach out and make plans with your friends. This will legitimise the time you took off and confirm that you never wanted time away from THEM.
When you're both relaxed, talk about limits and boundaries in Friendships. The more you state your feelings, the more normal it will seem.
If you are unable to say 'NO', even when you want to, find out what's holding you back. Is the friendship slightly toxic perhaps? A true friend will be annoyed that they don't get to spend time with you, but they won't hold it against you. If you can't create boundaries in the relationship, you need to take a step back and evaluate it for what it is. You are both individuals and you both deserve to have your feelings validated and understood.
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